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The many deaths of you.

The green dust falls around you, and you wait for the inevitable. Several seconds pass, without you feeling any different. Then you look down at your gut, and see...

Nothing different. You look at the leprechaun, confused. You thought he was going to make you fat again. Apparentely not. Suddenly the ground disappears beneath you, along with the feeling of Peter's stone hand on your wrist. You fall through darkness, losing track of which way is up. You fall for what feels like ages, then suddenly the ground looms up out of nowhere, and you land hard, cracking your skull against sharp rocks. You die.

And immediately get up again. What the heck was that? You're sure you died - you felt yourself go. You rub your hand over the back of your head. No blood. You have no idea where you are, so you go exploring. However, you don't get very far before you hear ominous rumbling overhead, and look up in time to get a large boulder to the face. You die again.

...and just like before, you find yourself alive and well in a clearing. You realise that this is the leprechaun's idea of fun - having you die over and over and over again, in as many horrible ways as possible. You sigh, then leave the clearing in search of a way out. Instead, you walk into a bear trap. It takes your left leg clean off, and excruciating pain racks your body. You stumble blindly, before collapsing from exhaustion and dying from blood loss.

This is just getting stupid now. You're on a cliff. Storm clouds brew overhead, and lightning strikes in the distance. You have a feeling you know what's about to happen, and you're not disappointed - you're struck by lightning. Then if that's not enough, your burning body falls over the cliff, screaming as you fall towards the sea. SPLAT.

Written by Dark Humour

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