Slap-Happy!

In frustration at your deja vu, you slap the lamp. The force of your hand pushes the lamp over on its side, and only then do you hear sounds and see things appear from the lamp's mouth.

"Who the hell slapped me?" cries a voice. As a form appears out of the lamp, you can see it's a female genie, perfect measurements, a beautiful apparition. As she fully leaves the lamp, she spies you. "Hey, what the hell man!" She puffs out her hand until it's cartoonishly huge and slaps you across the face. The blow sends you reeling, and you decide to slap her twice. The two of you exchange slaps for some time until she finally yells "ENOUGH!"

"I'm the genie of the Slap Lamp."

"Well, no crap, Ms. Genie." She slaps you once again. "Sorry."

"For every slap you administered me, you get one wish. For every slap I landed on you, you also get one wish. Damn it all to hell, I lost count. My reader says," she says while pulling out a hand-shaped magic screen, "our charade left you with about... 77 wishes."

77 wishes??? You slap yourself in disbelief, which leads the genie's measurement to change. "76, bro," she says, "you lose them for slapping yourself."

Still, 76 wishes. What to do?

Written by an anonymous author

You're hungry.

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