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Bigger Problems

What would seem to be your problem, me lucky boyo?" the Leprechaun asks, smiling. You glare at him frustratedly "look at this!" you exclaim, grabbing one of your large rolls of fat and shaking it for extra effect. "You made me even fatter, i weigh 450 pounds now.... what the heck?" The leprechaun shakes his head in mock sympathy "I tried ta tell ye, boyo.... You wish to be like Peter, you will be...Exactly like him." You stare at the lleprechaun for several minutes before the gravity of the situation dawns on you... "you mean" you stammer "that if Peter gets fatter, then i'll get fatter?" The Leprechaun nods contentedly. "exactly, and ye won't be getting thin 'till he does." You are, well, rather shocked at the indignity of it all. It'd be bad enough to have your weight linked to someone else, anyone else.....but to a glutton like Peter? "Then I wish I wasn't like Peter," you say. "too bad, boyo" sneers the Leprechaun "ye made a forever wish, and forever wishes cannae be broken." "well," you ask, "can't you at least make him eat less?" "well, there'd be the problem me boyo...." he says with a smile "He's already ben enchanted with a gluttony spell, by another Leprechaun. "ye see, we arenae supposed to countermand one another's magic.... bad things could happen if I tried" You do see, but you don't really care. You don't want to be a massive tub of lard for the rest of your life. "Look, you sickening little imp" you snort "I don't care about the repercussions. I wish that Peter would eat half as much as he does right now. Now, can you grant that, or am I going to have to sit on you?" The leprechaun balks at being crushed beneath your 450 pound frame and exclaims "fine, it's done, i've granted ye wish" You're so relived to hear this that you waddle back to bed to catch at least two hours of sleep. Unfortunatly, your don't hear the Leprechaun mutter "yes i've granted ye wish me boyo.....too bad it didn't work" He cackles to himself a little and dissapears.

After putting on some of Peter's clothes, which are tight, but not as tight as yours would be now, you fall into bed and sleep peacefully for the next two hours, only waking up once to see Peter coming back from what should be his last midnight binge.. the ladder creaks as he climbs to the top bunk, and the top bunk sinks so low that it almost touches your face. your last thoughts before you fall asleep again aren't the most charitable: "god, what a fat pig... well, at least he'll eat less from now on. I can get to a relitively normal weight."

your alarm goes off at nine, and you roll out of bed sleepily. you stretch up a jiggly arm and turn off the buzzer. you feel really heavy, but you just write it off as being sleepy. In fact, you feel so heavy that you need to use the bunk bed's ladder to climb to your feet. You waddle slowly off to the bathroom, your massive stomach jiggling around wth every step. Each time you put your foot down, the vibrations make the fat on your legs start quivering. When you finally make it there, (a two minute affair) you have to turn sideways to fit through the door. You look dumbly in the mirror at your two extra chins and stomach that has outgrown the triple extra large shirt you wore to bed by at least four inches. After staring vacantly for a while, it dawns on you that you're even fatter then you were last night. You dash for the scale (which is, for you, more of a slightly quicker shuffle) You step on, and the needle spins around all the way once and stops right after the two-hundred and ten. 511 pounds. "Leprechaun!" you attempt to yell, but you're out of breath from that 15 meter walk from your bed to the bathroom. Nevertheless, he appears and, after laughing helplessly for a while at your predicament, he asks "yes?" glaring at him, you wheeze "What the heck is *huff* this? *huff* *huff* *woo* why am I *huff* even fatter?" having used the last dregs of your energy you collapse in a fat heap on the floor. "Can't *huff* *huff* *huff* breathe" The Leprechaun considers this. "can't have ye dying now, boyo, that wouldnae be fun for me." He waves his hand and you can suddenly feel air rushing to your starved lungs. "thanks" you say between gulps of air "now, i'm going to kill you!" you pull yourself up using the counter, and attempt to lunge at the leprechaun..


Written by A guy

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