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A Definite Lack of Appreciation

"What's wrong, Heather?" you ask, suddenly feeling self-aware in a most unpleasant way.

"Get away from me!" shrieks your one and only. "I don't want you touching me like that!"

"Let me explain," you persist, your teeth inconveniently lengthening as you speak. "I wanted to do something exciting for you."

In hysterics, Heather throws a lamp at you. "Go outside, whatever you are! Go outside, and stay there until you look like my boyfriend again!"

You dodge the lamp, but you are struck by a mantel clock on your way to the door. Once in the hallway, you are able to stop or at least slow the change, but attempts to reverse it are futile. Ten minutes pass, and you decide to make one final appeal.

You unlock the door, and finding the entrance chained, you toss your keys and wallet to Heather. "Could you watch these for me, please? And maybe my shoes, too? I'm afraid of getting a blister." In response, the attractive young woman grabs the fireplace poker and charges in your direction.

Written by Joey Liverwurst (edited by wanderer)

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