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Oh, no!

Just as the squirrel stew is reaching a nice consistency, the full weight of your diabolic act crashes home into your brain. You've just killed a sentient being! "Ohmagod, ohmagod, ohmagod" you gibber, slowly losing your grip on reality. You stumble a little bit, accidentally knocking the pot over and dumping a liter of boiling water all over your face. You scream in blind agony, and then you hear the 'click' of your wife unlocking the front door as she returns from work.

She can't see you like this! You grab the eighteenth century infantry rifle you keep under your bed. You can't see a thing, and your face burns, but you can hear your wife coming up the stairs. "Honey, are you allright?" you hear outside the bedroom door. "Why is there a dead cow in our kitchen?"

And then you fire, blowing a hole in the door and knocking your wife down the stairs with a scream.

"Oh my GOD!" you scream, as the full weight of what you've done crashes home. "I've killed my darling Tiffany so she wouldn't see my evil! I'm a murderer twice over! AEE!!!"

You run through the house, bashing your head against the walls. You procure a butcher knife in the kitchen ( the squirrel did indeed turn into a cow ) and are just about to cut your veins when you hear a knock on the door.

"Knock knock! UPS delivery!" You can't let the UPS guy see you like this!!!


Written by Ryu

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