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Expanding uniforms.

You somehow manage to wake up on time for work, which starts at 7:00. You get yourself ready, then jump in the car and drive to the worksite. When you reach it, it turns out you're the first to arrive! You enter the strangely silent site, then go to the office to grab your uniform. Hopefully it's not as stupidly big this time. In a severe case of irony, you're given what must be the biggest uniform out of all of them. When you protest, the boss just tells you "First come, first serve." And shunts you towards the changing rooms. Still fuming, you lock yourself in one of the cells and change. While the uniform you wore yesterday was large, this one is obnoxiously so. Huge drapes and folds of fabric flow over your frame like water, swishing and swaying with the slightest movement. It's also extremely hot in the suit, which makes things all the worse. You tighten the belt of the pants, but it turns out the lowest setting is still twice your size. Even the singlet is too large - the neck hole is so wide you keep slipping through it. You have to hold your arms out at your sides so that the damn thing stays on. Why the hell is it so big? Someone'd need to be humungous to fit it properly! You try tightening the uniform one last time, then unlock the stall and step out.

Or at least, you try to. Your sides become jammed in the door as you try to walk through it, wedging you firmly in place. You squirm and struggle, but you're stuck tight in the all-too-small doorframe. You pound your flabby arms against the walls and yell for help, but none comes - one of the many disadvantages of being early to work. You try pushing your arms against the wall, and you feel your gut shift slightly. You seize the opportunity and heave yourself forward, but it's just not enough, and you remain trapped. The struggle has left you panting for air, and each deep breath in causes your gut to swell like crazy before deflating when you breathe out. This gives you an idea, and you resume your previous struggle with the door. When you reach the furthest point, you suck in as much air as possible. Your middle inflates dramatically, and with a loud *pop*, you fly out of the stall like a cork, landing on your face. You heave your huge body off the ground, then dust yourself off like nothing happened and grab your stuff from the stall. The doorframe has been bent out of proportion by your escape, and you can easily reach in and grab the bag.

You loosen your strangely tight belt, which was digging into your gut, then lumber to the (thankfully large) change room exit and go outside.

Written by an anonymous author

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