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Mr Bob comes to the rescue!

For one reason or another, you feel like this is the perfect time to let one rip. After a long, five star, gaseous, nauseating bottom belch, you see the armor has transformed itself into a small cube. You pick up this cube and somehow it floats above your head with the words "Set armor get!" On impulse, you grab the box, and cram it down your throat. Halfway through consuming your tasty morsel, a dog-man hybrid bursts through the door brandishing a large stick. "No!" He screams as you like your lips, relishing the taste of the armor set. "What's wrong?" you ask him, mystified at his actions. "Im the hero!" shouts the dog-man, quite obviously distressed. "That armor set was supposed to be min- oh god, what is that horrible smell?" "Three cans of beens, two whole trout, and an old piece of sausage." You indignantly reply. This was not the answer he was looking for. "Do you know what you've done? I needed that armor on my quest to defeat the evil witch who lives in this castle. Why, I ask, did you swallow it? What could you have possibly gained by swallowing an ultra-rare, gem incrusted, reinforced set of full platinum armor?" "I don't know," you mumble. "I was hungry." The dog-man then looked at him, his eyes widening. "Wait, did you destroy the invisible armor guardian, the man wearing the armor?" "Yes, why?" " That certain guardian could kill giant-men with his lethal tear gas. How did you survive it?" " I don't know, I farted," The dog-man suddenly looked like his eyes were going to pop out of his skull. An odd itching overcame you, as you look down at yourself to see the armor which you had just been talking about slowly spread across your body. An singlet of a sort stretched itself across your nearly naked body (you have your underwear on, of course.) which transformed itself from a bit fatty average Joe to an amazingly muscular, tall body which looked like it belonged to a famous sport star. This singlet covered your body from torso to your neck, made out of a silky sort of material, yet you could sense it was tough. The sleeves reached halve way between your elbow and shoulder. The same fabric appeared on your shins, thighs, and wrists, seeming to seep out of your skin, making a strange, tickling sensation. Next, a thin layer of light chain mail spread from your core outwards, slowly spreading it's soothing hands across your already sensational body. It created a strong layer which very little could pierce. Finally, hard shell like pads of what must be platinum sprang forward, forming large plates, encrusted with precious jewels from every continent, each protecting the wearer from a different element of harm. Finally, a goo sprang from the collar, 'correcting' your face with a bone grinding crunch, yet you felt no pain. The gel hardened into a glorious, shining, vivid blue that would make the god of crafting himself proud. With a thud, you fainted,unaware of your surroundings, in a faint.


Written by DaDude

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