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Big Hands, I Know You're the One

You've never heard of bigfoot killing anyone, so you settle for the bigfoot potion. The vampiress looks disappointed as she hands you the tiny bottle. "Drink up, chug-a-lug!" she coaxes you.

"Well?" you ask after nothing happens at first. Then your hands start to swell . . . and swell . . . and swell. They stop when they reach the width of garbage-can lids. Fortunately, your feet remain normal.

"I don't remember whether that potion is defective or just slow to take effect," admits the witch, "but you'd better get out of here while I'm still in a good mood." Your fleshy, floppy hands at your sides, you hurry away.

Written by Joey Liverwurst

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