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Didn't your mother ever teach you not to grab?

"Sure," you tell Fred; "I've always loved werewolves!" You hold out your hand, and Fred gently bites it, just enough to draw blood. The wound looks almost like a paper cut.

You feel different within seconds, and you take off your coat to free your limbs in time for the change. Sure enough, your arms and legs soon bulge with new muscles, and your skin darkens very subtly. You throw back your head and try to howl.

At first, no sound comes out, but on the fourth try, a growl emanates from your throat. It sounds wrong, though, and you try again with renewed vigor. Yet instead of a wolfish howl, a soft purr escapes your lungs. You nearly faint at the sound of it. Your dread increases a moment later when not grey but orange fur appears on your hands and arms.

"Oh, dear," says Fred. "You must not be cut out for lycanthropy. I just assumed that a simple bite would make you like me, but you must carry the Bengali gene instead of the Siberian one."

"What the devil are you talking about?" you ask. "My family's Anglo-Saxon on both sides!"

Fred shakes his head. "It has nothing to do with your geographic origin. Evidently, you are becoming a tiger instead of a wolf. I've never run into this before, but there's no fighting Mother Nature. I did what I could, but I can't make a werewolf of you; sorry. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to find someone else to help me out."

He trots away before you can protest, leaving you to wriggle out of your clothes and begin life anew as a tiger.


Written by Joey Liverwurst (edited by phaedrus)

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