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Getting Acclimated

You lift yourself up to read the note, and realize that your everyday clothes have been replaced by a loud Hawaiian shirt and a pair of jams. You look ridiculous. Eager to know where you are and why, you reach for the note and open it.

"Dear Sir," it begins, "thank you for agreeing to work for Spells 'R' Us. I hope that you find your work every bit as rewarding as I do mine. Your job is to improve others however you see fit, as long as it is in keeping with my secret mission statement. Ha ha ha! Feel free to amuse yourself with any surplus items, but please put your customers first at all times. At Spells 'R' Us, the customer is always right, at least once we have finished with him. Keeping that in mind, have fun! I know that I shall."

The note is signed with a large "X" that seems to change color and gyrate on the page as you stare at it.

You are distracted from this by a knock at the door. "Who is it?" you ask.

"Room service," answers a husky voice. "You order creamed chipped beef?"

You obviously did not, so you send the caller away. Then you slap your forehead, realizing that you might have made your first sale by inviting him inside. To be prepared in the future, you decide to look in the attaché case at your bedside and examine the contents.

You find the case unlocked and filled to the brim with product samples of all shapes and sizes. Among the more interesting ones are Black Sheep Dip, Po' Crackers, Psychic Caramels, Technicolor Crayons, and Werewolf Whistles. You debate whether to test one of the products on yourself or save them all for needy customers. Surely, in case of an accident, each has some sort of antidote.


Written by Joey Liverwurst (edited by phaedrus)

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