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Don'ts and Donuts

"You better be ordering me Pizza," you say, slowly pushing yourself against the wall to get back up to a sitting position, the controller is stuck under a roll of chest fat, and you pull it out and resume playing. Fred is waiting anxiously as the phone rings. "Hey, Albert it's Fred, I need to talk about... WAIT DON'T HANG UP! He's out of control! No I mean, REALLY out of control. Like me under a curse out of control."

"Fred, that doesn't sound like the pizza guy!" you call, "But really don't call them, you got to stop me... but make it double pepperoni. And two dozen donuts... no.... three... no... Fred, please, you gotta get me away from food...." you struggle, trying to get a grip on yourself, but your stomach gurgles with hunger, "You better get me those pizzas or I'm gonna take a bite out of you!" you say, followed by, "Help me Fred, I can't stop myself."

"Yeah it's getting bad." says Fred, shakily, "Get over here as fast as you can." Fred hangs up the phone.

"GET ME THAT PIZZA FRED!" You yell suddenly in a voice much too deep, even for you, and Fred fumbles for the phone, dialing the pizza place and putting in an order. "Yeah, make it... two... three dozen, and please, hurry." he finishes in a scared voice, hanging up the phone. "Fred you forgot the donuts." you say, mashing the buttons before taking another swig of drink. "Fred goes for the phone again, a terrified look on his face.


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