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So Much for the Café

"Hey, don't knock it until you try it!" you tell the waif good-naturedly. Rather than knock it, however, he knocks you to the ground and holds you there, his hands and hind paws pinning you down.

"I hate to be rude," says your attacker, "but I have to get some food one way or another. Take a close look at my teeth, and you'll see that they weren't designed for chewing celery. Now, can you direct me to some real food, or shall I take matters into my own hands?" He tightens his grip as he says that, and you miraculously have a change of heart.


Written by Joey Liverwurst

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