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Don't I Know You?

Leading with your rear, you slowly but steadily ascend the stairs. "I sure hope nobody else needs to use the stairs right now," you think during a brief rest. A half-second later, you hear a door opening behind you, followed by approaching footsteps. It's just not your day, is it?

"Whoa, what's this?" says a scolding voice. "Hey, lard-butt, you're blocking the stairs! What if there were a fire?"

You twist your massive head just far enough to see the speaker. "YOU!" you both shout at once. It's the pill salesman from the gym!

The man freezes for a split second, then turns to flee. With all the strength you can muster, you swing an enormous gray-brown arm at him and clamp a massive fist onto his belt. Your fingers may be fat, but they're strong enough to hold the man in place (plus your arm alone is heavier than his entire body).

Frantic, the man begins to kick and claw at you, but your thick skin and layers of blubber effectively protect you from his attack.


Written by Funny Animal

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