Up: Game 1  Up: Game 1 Outline

The Kumquat Liberation Office

The dozens of ray-gun welding militant kumquats encircle you where you lie. More and more of the kumkauts continue to flood your field of view. Suddenly, a shriveled, discolored kumquat emerges from the group, with no apparel of any kind, only his distinctly rotten smell and overripe appearance distinguishing him as he rolls over to you. At first, nothing is said, and then...

"My dear kumquat, how have you gotten yourself into this situation? It matters not, for we have great and terrible news to tell you, comrade. Many things are about to change for the kumquat."

"What do you mean?" You are suprised to hear your own voice.

"Follow me, comrade, and you will learn of amazing and disturbing things. You will no longer be hiding in ignorance, fellow warrior, but prepare for news that will change your life."

You follow the kumquat into a hole in the ground, the dozens of combatant kumquats following behind the two of you. The elderly kumquat (he turns out to just be old) explains to you that he is a member of the Kumquat Liberation Office, or KLO. And that the exploded kumquat that had seduced you on the dirt mound was actually a cat. It seems that kumquats are becoming a cash crop in China and that becuase of this, Chinese restuarant companies are exporting less cat to be used in food in the United States. Becuase of this, cats were becoming increasingly popular as domestic pets, but kumquats were being mindlessly slaughtered to be used in human meals. So the kumquats ran away to the United States, where no-one really likes kumquats. The cats formed the Feline Expedition Exctracting Kumkauts, or FEEK, and disguised themselves as kumquats, coming to the United States to terrorize all kumquats into leaving for China...

Whoa... that's a whole lot to deal with in one day...


Written by Captain Cougar (edited by wanderer)

Back to the parent page